Powered by Blogger.

Til death us do part?


This is something I have been thinking about recently. From a young age I have never been that keen on getting married, I hate the idea of a big puffy white dress, people staring at me, and why am I paying for them to eat? If I ever did get married I can see myself just sloping off to Vegas with no fuss. Why do I feel this way?

My mother installed in me that I didn’t need a man, she has made me a strong independent women *clicks fingers* she even gave me a few of her diamond rings so that I wouldn’t ever need a man to buy me one. I don’t come from a broken home, my parents married a year before I was born. So I don’t get this view from my home life. However my mother has been married twice before but she doesn’t talk about it and seen my older sister’s marriage collapse when I was 13, but that is because he acted unreasonable but even then they only divorced last year.

 I don’t know if it is possible to be with one person forever. I know those of you that have found your true love or soul mate will be staring at the screen, mouth wide open in disbelief at that statement. But it is true for me. I think we have many ‘the ones’ if that is what you want to call them. I am 25 now and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, I love him, yes I can see myself being with him for a few years yet, but marriage, I don’t know. I look back to the guy I was madly in love with at 14 and 16, I thought we were going to be together forever and when we broke up I cried for days and claimed my life was over, clearly it wasn’t, eventually I picked myself up and realised life goes on and this was just an experience, and hopefully one I could learn from.

The guys I dated in my late teens would repulse me now, they lack everything I look for in a partner, because I have changed as a person, and so have they. So if I wouldn’t date the guys I dated then, surely that could apply to my current boyfriend in a few years?
Changing and evolving as a person is a natural thing, you will both do it, and you will not essentially evolve together. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it just means you have grown apart and now need different things from a relationship and your current partner can’t offer that. I believe that throughout life you will need something different from a partner as you evolve as a person.

I look at my life now, I am a PhD student, I have 3 years to go until I finish. I have chosen to be a ‘career bitch’. When I get to the end I will be looking for a doctoral teaching job, in the UK there are only a handful of unis that I would actually want to work for, I come from a CCT school of thought and there are only a few other schools like this in the UK, meaning it will be very likely I will leave the UK for my job, and that excites me, I want to travel and see the world, but how can me and my current boyfriend make that work? He has his career and his own ambitions, why should one of those sacrifice that for the other.
I currently joke with my boyfriend that we need to get married before I finish my PhD as once I graduate I can’t change my surname, yes it is 2013 but women in academia have to keep the same surname they graduated with and first published with, but I actually like my surname and don’t see a great need to change it.

This is in no way me bashing marriage, I can see myself getting married one day, but I don’t think I will ever be able to fully say and mean til death do us part, when I really mean, until I stop getting what I need from you and find someone else who meets my needs better. 


Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket Photobucket